The first month

Yesterday marked our first month married. It's been tough baby. Really tough. From my discovering you had an open dating profile online to your taking a huge job change without telling me it has been a real roller coaster. I love you, and I know you love me, but I cannot trust you anymore. You say you did not know the profile was still up, but it said you were on it three days before I found it. You say you had no idea, but you were getting emails showing you your new matches. I don't buy it, sorry. Yes you closed that email account and opened a new one and gave me the password. Yes I do check it, and there have been no other messages, yes I saw you cancel your profile, and have checked to make sure it has stayed cancelled but WHY THE HELL am I even having to do this in the first place? You said last night I am not the same girl you were dating, that I am angry and quick to be irritated. Well no shit Sherlock. I am processing a lot. A lot. For about two weeks I was not sure if I was going to stay with you. But I am. Not for you, or for me, but for the kids that would be so hurt by yet another upset in their young lives. Then you cannot understand why I am so upset that you took a transfer to a different location. Yes, it is closer to home and that is nice, no doubt. And yes it is one step closer to your becoming GM and all that comes with it, but the down side is you now will not be home at all three nights a week. This week after today I will not see you again until Saturday. Next week you only have one day off. That sucks. And you know what? I will be bored. And lonely. And that is NOT a good combo for me at all. Idle hands being the Devil's workshop and all. You really just have no idea...Have I been different since we got married? Probably. Will I get over it? Probably. Has it changed my love for you? Probably.

Here's to hoping the next month is better.